CHANGES AND EMOTIONS

Just as I was descending towards something, I have another bit of oddness this morning as I was driving my way back home. Surprisingly for the first time I smiled reflecting things about being alone. I dropped a lot of anger before, eventually, comfort was regained. As I clear more away from my mind, I gained certainty and clearer view of reality; it will be easier I know.

So here I sit knowing that I'm much less skilled at momentary awareness. Yet, I know that by saying this, I'm just grasping after my own wants again. This seems to spiral to the core. No matter what I think, it's almost always about my pain, my joy, my situation. So I guess, I am allowing myself to be in the moment as the moment happens and consciously letting go of the opinions that just happen when phenomena occurs. I think about the relevance on why change occurs, unexpectedly and so sudden. In a nick of time, things or people change. I wanted everything to stay the same, but feelings fade and people change. It is in our nature to be resistant to change and to want things to stay the same. It is too bad that change is inevitable, and sometimes the feelings that we might have felt for someone or the feelings they might have felt for us may go away. Change is the transition from something old into something new, and is necessary for growth in a person's life. I am thinking about if we never aged or matured, I could not imagine being the same size that I was in my five years old of existence and only having the same amount of knowledge that I have this age. We have to maintain new changes in our lives on a regular basis in order to grow and reach our potential. Feelings fading, and people changing is a part of life, and if you are growing as a person, not everyone will grow with you. It is important not to forget my past, I’ve learned from it, and I use this wisdom to choose the people who will surround me on this coming days.

In our reality, we are kind of like filters. Our senses produce the phenomena we can react to. We experience and make judgments based on our connection with our past and react accordingly. So our resulting form is based by our filtering of phenomena, our resulting mind state and our karma or lack of it. So we go on filtering and creating, judging and acting. If everything we create is done by habit, we will continue to create a similar world. When these results are placed against the backdrop created by all beings we get a good or bad result. Everything is perfect as it is.

At this very moment, I am thinking of someone I really miss. Just so you know, whatever your background, whatever labels you wear, however horrible your existence may feel. I care about your struggle. The reason why - I recognize that your pain is the same as mine. I've felt the same frustration, confusion, hurt, anger and the rest. I know that the circumstance changes, but the feeling is the same. As soon as I think I have the right answer... I will look again; praying that I will not change. Truth is never static. It moves, it changes. As long as my heart keeps beating for you, I will hold on. When everything in this globe will fade and change, I am just here, waiting for you. I am caught in the situation where I feel there is no path. I admit I've limited myself through misconception and all the little greed and lusts; but I'm still looking for the better way. It's better if I think of you first. I hope some of the little bits of good I do reaches you in some interconnected way that surprises and inspires you.

Just so ya know…I MISS YOU!

-dyoyzee-