FAMILY COMES FIRST

This one I am writing at this moment is impromptu, I usually type and make sentences in Microsoft Document, then afterwards, read it then post it on my blog, this time I want everything that comes out of my mind to be literally type written here. While listening to a ballad song, I am thinking of what to do next, this seems to be multitasking. I don't even think if I will make sense and if I will have a topic to tackle up. So, I wanna make loose. Sometimes I think of having a video blog but then due to the incapacity of materials needed, I just ended up writing all the time. I knew I could express myself and say everything I wanted to jot down thru writing.

Here it goes.This has got to be one of the boring days of my life. But previously, and what I have said way back, when I am bored or I feel to have the mood to write, I usually end up in scribbling notes while into a journey, or simply sitting quietly in a corner or just facing my desktop. After all, my thoughts distinctness still functions with sense. I am monophobic before, I have this fear , but now, I can cope with it somehow. Sometimes, everybody needs to be alone and stay in stillness. Right then quietly with solitude, you can hear your thoughts, you can reach deep within yourself, you can focus. I get some good thinking and re-charge time during day out, or in my room, but the retreats are more focused on thinking about creative problems that I’m wanting to solve. That’s why I intentionally carve time out. I make room for creativity. Intentionally. The best example of what I mean by a retreat is a weekend with God, at home with family. I enjoy baby sitting my nieces and my nephew. Sharing laughter with my siblings, asking my parents' situation towards their health.So with my TITA NORMA, my FAMILY owes a lot to her.She's the best AUNT, nothing compares to her and we love her so much despite of her talking attitude (and i don't wanna to stress it here enough.I just leave it in the house yo!LOL!) Oh my! I remember my childhood and I wanna say something about it now , since this is random and nothing particular topic to say about, I just want to share it here. Read on!!!LOL!

When I was a child, I used to go with my papa, I remember I used to go with his co-workers and employees, I heard them teasing papa, that mama sent me to guard him, and they all laugh. I can even recall my papa's passion riding on his classic bicycle and follows the safe road until he gets into his office. I remember how my papa enjoyed playing his favorite music on his stereo and he let us (me and my siblings) dance to the tune of “Chikitita”. How simple life was. When I think about my childhood memories with my papa, I remember most his thirst for learning; he shared and transmitted his commitment to knowledge. My father’s love of discussion was coupled with a deep curiosity about all fields of learning. Mama and Papa have never failed to remind us to finish studies first and we can do whatever we want after school. They always inspire us and motivate us until now. I have watched "CLICK" for the Nth time, and the movie made me shed tears still every time I watch it. The line "FAMILY COMES FIRST" has always been a reminder to me that whatever happens, my family is always my priority, second to God. I know I am better equipped to weed out the non essential stuff and focus the things I want to express and have creatively. With their presence, I am motivated and inspired. With my family around me, I find solitude :)

Okay, I thought I have no particular topic this time but if I will go back and read this stuff, it is all about solitude and being alone quietly. My best writing, and in fact the best of anything I’ve done, was created in solitude.

Just a few of the benefits I’ve found from solitude:

• time for thought
• in being alone, we get to know ourselves
• we face our demons, and deal with them
• space to create
• space to unwind, and find peace
• time to reflect on what we’ve done, and learn from it
• isolation from the influences of other helps us to find our own voice
• quiet helps us to appreciate the smaller things that get lost in the roar

-dyoyzee-

A LETTER ON HER BIRTHDAY

As usual, I woke up today thinking about you, just as I go to sleep with you in my thoughts.But today’s a particularly bright and happy morning because it’s your birthday, and the first thing I would like to do is to thank the Maker for putting you in this world and for being so beautiful and making you mine. The second thing I would like to do is to show you my love, and to let you know how important you are to me. The moments spent with you are going to be the memories that will stay with me for a lifetime. Through all this time we have been together, we have come to know each other little by little, and better and better. Looking back to the day I met you, and being as fair and impartial as I can be, I think the least I can do is, to thank you for all the tenderness and tell you that today I’m much happier than I ever was before you came into my life. The impossibility of seeing you every time I would like to, just gives me more desire, it just makes the clock seem like it is slower, just makes this ‘missing you’ in an intense desire for you, that each minute is more difficult to control.

Baby, today’s your birthday but the gift is all mine because your existence is what really makes me happy and gives meaning to my life. I want you to always (and only!) have the best that I can give you, and the best I have to offer to you right now is my intense love, my hand, my warm embrace and the comfort of my most passionate kisses. I know I love you and becoming aware of all this love that invades and takes over me makes me very happy. I feel happy mainly because of all the energy that comes from you; you are a source of good feelings, fountain of virtues and of joy. Always count on me, not only today, but every day, month, year… on every single birthday from now on. Always count on me because I love you and I want that love to withstand anything. I want you to know that I’m very happy to be by your side and to share your smile each time I am with you.

As I said in the beginning of this letter, it’s your birthday but the gift is mine, for I feel like the happiest person in the world, a world that looks even nicer today as we celebrate another year of your existence. I miss you a lot every time we’re apart, but I feel so happy and at peace with myself that I can only reach one conclusion: I’ve been truly overtaken by this sublime feeling they call Love.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!

I LOVE YOU!

-dyoyzee-

STEP UP

Basically, this is not my life story but I can somehow relate. I need to say things about this situation for I know that few may be going through with this kind of situation right now.

This can be tricky but if someone wants to look forward and not back, whatever your girlfriend or boyfriend may have done in the past is exactly that – THE PAST. If it was before you were together than that may make it a lot easier to get over. However, in a relationship, it can still be worked out if both parties are completely honest with each other.

Being open with your girlfriend is a great policy to start anyway and so if you can both know where you stand and how you both feel about certain things then the problems should be easier and more manageable to resolve. The best way to get over the past is to look to the future. If your girlfriend is now on the straight and narrow then you can't keep punishing her for her patchy past. It is not fair on her and not good for your mental state. Accept that you were not in her life then. Accept her word, that had you been in life then she'd only have you. So get over your past as well as hers. It’s an ugly tough test dealing with the past but its one test that needs to be passed in order to fully enjoy the future.

So I can now relate, I have this pet theory and I’m having terrible jealousy like this is a self defense mechanism and 'natural’. Built in our 'genes' from thousands of years ago when people lived in tight knit communities and there was a need to spread the gene pool. But really sometimes, people telling you to ‘get over it’ do not help in these situations. If someone has never experienced these feelings they cannot possibly know how all consuming and destructive they are. I have great empathy with anyone who has or has had these feelings. I lost a girlfriend because I couldn't get over her past. I used to think if I could just understand everything about her previous relationships it would help me come to terms with them. But in some ways it just made things worse. In the end my concerns about her past destroyed our future. My advice is don't go there. By making us feel bad about someone who had already slept with someone else we'd be more likely to go and find someone 'fresh’. I know this doesn't help but it may explain why these kinds of feelings are so prevalent and so many people experience them. The trouble is, nowadays things have moved on a lot and people have sex very young and with lots of different people to 'experiment'.

Honestly with my recent relationship, even if there's still a little bit of that resentment or jealousy in me, communication has definitely eased my worries. We worked it all out by talking, and I got to admit, I even feel a little ridiculous for overreacting about it. I'm not her first for anything, but I’m still learning to accept that. I love her, and she loves me back unconditionally. She reassured me that, even though the fact remains that her past can't be changed and what happened happened, I am her present and her future. Two things that her exes can never be. I love her and that's all that matters, she's mine and not his , her ex doesn't know what he let go, he lost the crown jewel, the best and now I have her and I'm not letting go! I love her for what she is. I’ve touched a love that nobody else has. I’ve touched her soul and she loves me back and that might be something that other guy never got to touch! Physical beauty is important but isn't the end all being all of dating. It’s what's in the mind and heart that count, right? The physical doesn't matter as much as the spiritual and if you're in love that's a great spiritual connection. And for the record, As long as we keep in mind that what we’re fighting for is worth it in the end, we just got to tough it out. It's a cliche, but that's love for me and everyone out there.

I have the following beliefs that I hold unto:

1. Don't over think it too much.
Just remember that they're the reason you two are together now.

2. They weren't good enough for her when they were together.
Just prove yourself that you're the one & you're worth her time than the others.

-dyoyzee-

I LOVE WHAT I FEEL

It's been 4 months since I've written something about heartache, fortunately I was able to find the love I've been waiting in few days of tears and sorrow. There is no fast and easy rule, not even a secret formula in meeting new LOVE. It was drastic yet I knew right then, she's the one. Unexpectedly, my heart and mind was convinced then, I never thought I could love again...TOO SOON! I've said to myself,I need to get my life going in the next plane. And this worn out introduction fits in...unexpectedly, I met her in her school. I was not really driven to go out that time but when my friend Andrea asked help, I nodded and said I am willing to back her up. She told me that she has a group-mate to introduce. Without so much ado's, DAISY have stolen my heart! And I've got this feeling like i could sing right now...

I'm like a statue, stuck staring right at you,Got me frozen in my tracks.So amazed how you take me back,Each and every time our love collapsed.Statue, stuck staring right at you,So when I'm lost for words,Every time i disappoint you.Its just cause I cant believe,That you're so beautiful. (Stuck like a statue)Don't wanna lose you, no. (Stuck like a statue)And you're so beautiful. (Stuck like a statue)Don't wanna lose you, never. (Stuck like a statue)

There are several things that I'm getting used to. And it is not surprising that i find it peculiar, even silly for me to speak of them for they are trifle really. But for me, it is the little things that matter. Every day that goes by, I am more convinced in the importance of focusing on the little things. There is actually much to appreciate about, the fulfillment and enjoyment that comes in. We are fine together, it's contemplated! Not a single day went by that I didn't miss her. I only knew and by this moment, I AM MISSING HER. It makes my days stride with sufficient hope of good things that will come in our way.Just merely looking at her and having a glance on her beautiful eyes gives me great pleasure.I am not ashamed of telling this world that I love her. In fact we can live with great courage when we love each other. With love, we have stolen each other’s heart, which cannot be tried by criminal law. There is no law in the world which can bind or regulate our free flow of love.

Baby,

I have never been so lucky in life and the world has never been so loving and caring to me but your presence made a huge difference and I simply say THANK YOU!We will always be with each other in every mode of life, in all ups and downs and in all downtrodden paths of life. I promise I am holding my feelings deep down my heart. We will surely make the best couple on earth. We will have several adventures in life together and even promise you the most wonderful intimate time. I wish you would always be in front of me day in and day out and I would just keep staring at you, with all my heart and love you with all my might.When you look at me and smile, I feel like locking the hands of time.Hoping I can pause and capture those wonderful moments of life. I would always love to be your camera man.There is a lot more to say and my talks will never end. I want you to hear me, listen to me and be with me always. I just love you baby!

Sincerely,

Boss mo Madam

-dyoyzee-