It’s almost six months when she left me. I’ve been single since the first week of March and it knocked me hard. I had made huge efforts to keep the relationship going but in the end I was the only one fighting, she had wanted me in the beginning and chased her and in the end it was me fighting to hope that one day she would feel that way again. We haven't spoken since but, she gave me phone call sometimes, but the conversation was nonsense, I deleted her in Facebook. Communicating with her hurts, it’s a lot at once. Communicating with my ex opened a can of worms of heartache for me so I decided not to see her. The breakup was a long time coming, we had grown apart over the months, had lost each other as best friends, and it was hard for both of us to let go, but it was time. I am at peace with it; a lot of things went on. So as of now, I am having a pose and see what changes it has offered. LAST Sunday night, I was drunk and never realized that I am at her place already. I was awakened at dawn and said, “What am I doing here?” and a voice came from inside, “HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?” I didn’t see the need why I’ve gone there. It is like, I just passed the test and that’s how I feel right now. I am new and there’s no turning back. Well, 10 years was quite a feat, something to definitely be proud of. Down the line, I’ve dealt with so many changes after the breakup. My social life fluctuated from a mere moderation to a full throttle. It was drastic, a fly by it seems. I was in such a bad state of mind after my breakup and honestly thought I would never be happy again. The day that I realized that my heart was finally mending was one of the happiest days I’ve ever had!
Life is short to live in bitterness. The soonest I let her go, the best I’d survived the breakup. We don't need another person to be complete. I am fine on my own and a partner will only compliment my completeness. Now I can say that I can breathe easy, I live my life in contentment. I have friends and my family cares for me. There's no other better way to keep things and people off my mind than to be preoccupied with a lot of things. Distractions can prevent me from thinking about the awful things I've experienced and are going through. I love to catch up things I missed. I love going out with my family, party with friends and the most beautiful part is meeting new people. Anyone looking to get in your pants would keep pushing and saying, "You’re single now?" and in my subconscious, it really means, "It’s my turn to hit that” lol! Yes! By all means I will go on a date! It definitely could be good for me, and start me on a road of feeling good.
I don’t know but my friends still tease me, they haven’t moved on yet I know, I really appreciate their care about what I feel. They still insist that I am in denial that I haven’t been over her. I know myself better than they are. I KNOW that I am the only ONE who can make myself HAPPY. I overheard that my ex is talking to someone already, honestly, I felt nothing. It was a relief to me that I feel okay upon knowing her situation. This simply means, I am at peace and totally gotten over her really.
I know that there are billions of people on this planet. Chances are more than one person and has the ability to make you smile and laugh. I am resigning myself to the fact that my last relationship didn’t work out and that I will be able to find SOMEONE once again. It’s important to remember that life does go on. It’s happening, I am the aftermath. Deal with it or not at all, are you ready to see and be in my world? Come one, Come all!!!
-dyoyzee-
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