GUN SHOT

Summer and solitude had given me too much time to think and too little to occupy my head. On that typical season of the year, my mind was crowded with a number of thoughts about an infinite number of responsibilities. To say the least, I yearn for those distracting thoughts again. Unfortunately, they’ve been replaced handful of thoughts that have limited my sleep and have kept me on edge for days. I’ve spent all day trying to drown out the world, nothing works and nothing really works. Anyway, I digress from the point I wanted to make. The point is, this lack of space has really helped me get a check on my tendencies toward hoarding sentimental attachment to things. I have started to clean out, and I already took a giant bag of emotional baggage out of my system. I just want to get rid of the negative situations I encounter on my way. So I am guarding my thoughts from costiveness and keep my eyes on the ball. I can change what I can, but I have learned to accept what I cannot. Changing the past is a scientific impossibility, and so to rail against it is an exercise in futility. It is like digging a hole in then trying to put all the water in the ocean in that hole using a teaspoon. The point is gluts of hyperbole notwithstanding. So, I am learning to live in the present, leaving what’s past in the past and move on. The ghosts of the past will go away if it’s being ignored. I’ve been enough of thunderstorms so I think I deserve a little bit of sunshine. 
 
I can’t stand it when I hear people my age — namely me — reminisce about “the good old days,” when life was simpler, people were nicer, and gosh darn nobody had to lock their front doors. Life is truly easy now yet more challenging before. The other day, without even being conscious of it, I found myself starting to head down my memory lane again. Quite often people, not just old people, but people of all ages yearn to the past, believing it was a better time. They think and feel that their childhood, adolescence, and the time they were young was a great time. They think and believe that everything was better than it is now. This sometimes might be true, but not always. If you analyze these thoughts and feelings in an unprejudiced manner, you will arrive to the conclusion that your earlier years were not as great as you imagine. I have a certain theory about this, which I would like to share with you. People do not yearn to the actual past, to past circumstances and situations, which sometimes were good, and sometimes not so good. They yearn to something else. They yearn to two things. They yearn to the period when they were quite young, when they didn’t worry about money, work and possessions. They yearn to the times when they had no worries and problems, when grown up people took care of everything. It was a carefree period, and this is what they are missing now. Then there is another important thing, which they yearn to, although unconsciously. Most people, from the age of about 16 to about 30 have dreams, expectations, zest and energy. They are still young and the future is before them. Often, there is a certain feeling of euphoria and great expectations. This is the time when people are at the start of their life, still able to think big, before settling down, getting a job, getting married, and entering the hustle and bustle of life. When young, people use their imagination and daydream about a fabulous future, but as time rolls by, they forget their dreams and don’t use their imagination as before.

From time to time when I’m feeling down, I get this message popping in my mailbox reminding me what’s important and helping me look at the bright side of life. Even now, I find myself too worried about the future. It’s hard to not worry. I just have the need to know what is going to happen. I hate not knowing things. My present can be wonderful and my future will be even better. For now, I have stopped thinking of the past. I just think about living in the now working towards the future. I know I can’t forget the past because there were happy and sad memories that were part of my life, but I have to let them go. The past helped and teaches me what to do and not to do in the present, and how not to make the same mistakes again.

“Don't waste your life looking at the past. Treasure the happy memories, enjoy today and look forward to tomorrow. Life is a journey, enjoy the trip.”

-dyoyzee-