DON'T LET ME GET ME

I haven’t blogged in a while coz lately I found myself so pent-up in a different sort of head-space than normal. So now, I just feel like sharing something I believe God has put in my heart. I want to overcome the notion to have a regular PMA, which stands for Positive Mental Attitude, I’ve honestly been better. I can breathe easier as always and that would make things extraordinary. I’m awake, calm, and happy and bored (as of now); this is what I’m going to do. As I sit here and type, I come to realize that I am really talented. I have all these passions for things and if I actually combined them, and put my mind to it to create something awesome, I know I could do it. So what made me come to a point to write again? Well, just awhile ago, a friend in FACEBOOK talked about in his status that THIS TIME, HE’LL GET IT RIGHT. It caught me; I know perfection is nowhere near with anyone in this globe. So, in every step we take, we might fall but at long least, we tried and have already learned. Lately a lot has been going on in my life, whether I realize it or not. I don’t even know how to explain it to be honest, let’s just say I was in a rut but now I’m out of it. I guess I’m trying to realize that it’s okay to have negative thoughts. It’s okay to be sad but what’s not okay is denying that you’re sad. Being positive, or having a “PMA”, doesn’t mean you’re happy 100% of the time! I guess I’m just trying to accept these negative feelings, which feels like I’m going backwards but I guess really at the end of the day I’m moving forward.

I just want to speak a moment from the heart as to what motivates me. I don’t know what it is about today, but I feel at peace with myself. Staying alone in a work place gets lonely now and then, but it fades over time. So my desktop is my best friend the whole working day. I eat lunch solo. Sometimes eating alone is just fine, and sometimes it's not. Meals are a shared experience in most cultures, so it is a classic time for loneliness to come up, if we find ourselves alone at meal times. Once in a while, I wish I had some companionship with my meal. Sometimes I invite friends over and dine out with them. So it’s like that and I am used to it in years passed. So back with the attitude thingy; I’m just learning that nothing is really so bad, and I don’t have to stress out over things. I’m having fun, I’m living for myself and I’m digging my music more than ever right now. Thinking about how drastically my outlook on life has changed in the past 2 years is incredible. I’m glad I’m able to feel so much love for the people in my life now, instead of feeling sorry for myself and harboring a lot of bitter feelings and hatred. Maybe my past mistakes were some of the best I’ve made for my current self. I’d never make them again, and perhaps the way I feel lately, I think it’s a good thing. I am having so many things I can enjoy in my life. I often write down my thoughts but I noticed that I have the tendency to focus on the negative things happening around and in me. Not now! It’s easy to get into the habit of seeing doom and gloom in every situation, but doing so keeps you forever focused on the negative. I live by quotes that explain exactly what I’m going through everyday. I make up excuses for everything. I have true friends and critics. I have good memories and a share of dramas. I really appreciate it that there are many people & if I say ‘many,’ I mean it; who love the imperfect me unconditionally. They are the reason why giving up has never been an option for me. I'm a tablespoon of sugar, a cup of spice, but most of all, I am everything nice. CAUTION! Don’t be mistaken by my kindness for weakness, because I will prove you wrong. I guess I learned a little bit more about myself writing this post than I thought I would.

The world may not get better or more exciting, but that doesn’t mean my attitude has to decline with it. Stress is a good thing. Without stress from our environment, evolution wouldn’t have taken place and we wouldn’t be here today. A positive attitude, on the other hand, turns you into a person that everyone wants to be with; a person that constantly experiences great things, a person who attracts great people and opportunities and a person who loves their life. I’ve done loads of shits in the past but that changed me to a better me now. Good things are happening and I’m so psyched for the rest of this year, it’s going to be amazing I can feel it. So there you have it! I just can’t get enough of the positive vibes right now.

Let’s start the happier & better me!
Stress Free World!

-dyoyzee-

A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

Happy November! I have no idea where October went seriously! It’s flown by so quickly. Christmas is less than 7 weeks away, and days go by so fast! AS some of my friends know that tomorrow will be my birthday!  I just want my celebration to be simple. I will begin the day by thanking our Creator for adding another milestone in my life. Of course, going to hear mass is one of my obligations, since tomorrow will be the Lord’s Day. On the 11^th day of this month and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to realize that what makes my birthday remarkable after all is, every single day,  I am  exactly one year older than I was 365 days ago. Oh, aging. It’s a funny thing. Some people are bothered by it, but not me. I always feels like I’m still “growing up”, and that feels great. As far as I can tell, life gets better, love grows deeper, I learn more, and opportunities for the future are one step closer with each passing day. That makes my birthday so great. It has s taken  years to grasp this  and  that for one day, every 52 weeks, everyone I have  ever loved, liked and respected will tell me  that they feel the same way about what I feel, or at the very least they would say, they want me to be happy. THAT is some kind of magic. And if the long-lived are to be believed that specific kind of magic, plus a few extras (sunshine, physical activity like planning, a bit of romance, laughter with friends, food & drinks) puts life in my years and adds years to my life. And that totally changed my perspective today. 

Next time you see me, I may appear to be a little wiser because tomorrow, I will turn a year older. No, I don’t share this information with looking for recognition or gifts. Instead, I wish that the adage “ANOTHER YEAR OLDER & WISER” could be replaced instead of wiser, STRONGER! Another year has past and in many ways, I cannot believe it. In other ways, I am so glad that it has.  It’s inevitable – days fly by and before you know it, it’s that time of year again. Life is pretty incredible when you open yourself and your heart up to it. You never know what is waiting around the corner. With open eyes and ears, the possibilities are endless. This year has brought some very special people back into my life. People that were not entirely forgotten but ones who when you see them again, you wonder just how you survived without them. I am so blessed with the people in my life. When I look back it seems like something crazy always happens on my birthday. There are many things still to be said, and just writing it all doesn’t always allow me to say what I want to sometimes. But it still came out good but wisdom for me is definitely a gift. I still have so much to look forward to. The only constant in life is that we are always learning, growing and changing as we can see and feel it. 

One year ago, I was upset, a little depressed, confused, hurt, emotional and just really, really struggling.  Oh, how things change in a year. I have learned that life is full of its ups and downs - you can't always control it. And in those moments you feel out of control, it’s ok! God gave us a vast scale of emotions, to feel them; they are there and they are valid and feel them, you should! These emotions and feelings mold us to become better, stronger and a wiser being. Life is too short to hold onto the past, to hold grudges and to hold onto anger. It is just to feel your anger, but then let it go, let it fly away with the wind. Only then will you realize, as I did, that letting go and letting yourself feel is the real path to freedom. After tomorrow, is another beginning of my own personal year.  Age is a number and each birthday, I am trying to embrace the new year of my life in positive ways and also enjoying what and who I have right now. STRONGER YEARS AHEAD!

 

To another year and new beginnings!

-dyoyzee-

LIFE AS I KNOW IT

Whoa, I haven't updated my blog in a while for I have had a lot on my plate lately. So as I sit here, while the outside world is into vast changes and noise is everywhere, I subscribe with the thought of writing again. Meanwhile, I have this realization that everyday in my life,  I learn a lot of new things which for sure  I never get tired of acquiring, and I'm always looking up the answers to the most random questions that pop into my mind. So I have a lot of it right now. The things that I love, desire, hate, changes that life has to offer. All of it comes up like a splash to me. I love seeing people. The things that people do, the way they think, how mind blowing why we all have different stories. A smoker with a gum in his mouth, while watching the people who pass him by, a burly man with the stench of the sun and tobacco, but when he pays he has a picture of his daughter in his wallet. I love watching my nephew and nieces dancing the Oppa gangnam style music fever. Little things like that. When my girlfriend makes faces, my Tita Norma nagging, Bebang’s laughter, barking of Bingo (our tiny dog). All things & people are wonderful.  I don’t even want to think deeply. All of those wonders just come out naturally.  It has always been a fact that our whole life goes with transitions and changes.  First things first: LIFE. Well, I love life and there are lots of reasons why I do. So the main and basic reason for me then is LOVE. To me love is the deepest core of what we are. It radiates out with our attention, at whatever we fix our loving focus on. When we engage anything with love, be it a person or thing, we feel joy, and create joy in equal measure, it really is what makes the world go 'round. I am talking about relationship now which concerns LOVE of course. 

RELATIONSHIPS are the equivalent of getting a PhD in life; it’s a never ending process of learning. Falling in love and being in love are two different things.  The falling part is the roller coaster ride; the being in love piece is more like a bicycle ride.  It’s a bit slower, and there are some harder hills, and sometimes partners are helping each other push up the bigger hills, sometimes you need to walk it, and then you can coast down the other sides together. Gratitude is so important. If you're not grateful for those who love you and if you don't feel as if you're appreciated, those relationships won't work. It's definitely so essential to be appreciative of your partner.

In this so called life of mine, I am thankful of my FAMILY. Just being able to wake up to the sun shining in the morning at home means a lot to me. Every breath I take reminds me I’m still here and still have much to enjoy. The incredible beauties that surround us if we look and just knowing the difference between being alive and living. Living is what we do between being born and dying. Living is easy, so easy that we do it in our sleep. Being alive takes more effort but being alive is the better choice because it is a gift, it is a gift to embrace while we are able. Some days I am more alive than others but other days it is all I can do to just live. There are days when noticing the world around me is difficult. There are the days when one moment blurs into the next and into the next and on and on. Yes I am alive! I appreciate what God has given me. There is so much positivity that flickers. Life is so beautiful if we stop for a minute and appreciate and thank God for all we have and just smile. Always spreading the love and happiness. You know what? My most favorite things are the smiles and laughter I get from the people with whom I touched their lives. And that brings positivity in to my life. I am here; I exist to say something, to touch other people’s lives. We are social beings, and although we all fall in different places on the introversion – extroversion scale, we all need to have that sense of connection to other members of our tribe. While some of that connection can come from having conversations with others, touch also plays an important role in human communication. I just love being connected to others. LIFE is amazing! It is so important to ENJOY NOW. Those are the two words that I am most grateful for in the English Language... so simple but so true. We only have now and the best feeling in the world is to enjoy so why would we torture ourselves and live any other way? We can enjoy the journey every day. I have been blessed to have lived a pretty long life of experiences and adventure and I too start to take for granted those experiences I love. I consider small things, they will not necessarily get you on Oprah, but they will make a big difference in someone's life. Regardless of the turmoil in the world as a whole, we are always striving to find the way to make our mark, to make a difference, to leave the greatest impact. So live and be alive! Enjoy life, enjoy now!

Four days from now, I’ll be celebrating my birthday. I just want to say thank you all for touching my life. THANK GOD for this life! LOVELOTS!

-dyoyzee-