PROUD TO BE ME

Almost everything in this globe is subjective. So how will I know if I am making the right decision? Only because I can’t possibly please everyone. This concept is something we have to remind ourselves of constantly.This world that I live in will always want me to do more. With my seemingly carefree attitude that was often depicted as debilitating complacency, I know and feel that the world wanted more from me.  

I was not born a superhero, I can’t please everyone. A person's sexual orientation can be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or questioning. All of these sexual orientations are considered to be normal. I am a lesbian, and this fact has shaped my life profoundly. I have gradually learned that it is advantageous to be open about my sexual orientation. Disclosure is empowering: It allows me to be myself, integrate my public and private lives, voice my opinions, celebrate all of my achievements, and work passionately to increase tolerance and acceptance. I know that I deserve respect and recognize that I serve as an important role model. Coming out is a process that never ends. Every time I meet someone new, I must decide if, how, and when I will reveal my sexual orientation. I find it simplest to be candid. In general, I try to communicate who I am non-verbally, what you see is what you get. I love myself and every detail of my life. The bad, the good and everything in between. Yes I have struggled with my sexuality.  All my life I knew I was gay. I didn’t know why I was attracted to women when society and my family always embedded in my thoughts and heart that girls like boys. Why did I like girls? That was a BIG QUESTION and it has been answered many years ago.

Some may not necessarily agree with my sexual orientation, but the time has come for change. No matter what I decide to do, someone will always question my morals and criticize my choices. That's just how it is. But that’s just it. There is no right decision, at least not in the general sense of the phrase.  I know what is right for me, and I follow what my guts tells me. It’s so hard to follow your own gut but I have to be true to myself. The truth is everyone may not be happy with us 100% of the time but we must remain true to ourselves. If not, the results of not being true is that WE will be unhappy most of the time! By all means, I choose what resonates with my life and be it. But at the end of the day, I am happy and that’s a choice I make. Self-care is not selfish! Self-care is absolutely imperative to our overall well-being! We have to take care of ourselves to be any good to anyone else. We can’t fault those who send us hates and rejections, something like that. We’re individuals.  We have different tastes, likes, dislikes, trigger points, etc. Others will have different boundaries and make different decisions.  None of us is “wrong.”  Taste in all things is subjective. I understand that hatred is a powerful gel that binds unhappy people. Instead of focusing all that negative energy on gays and lesbians, whose lives really have no impact on yours, why not use it to remove all the obstacles that are preventing you from being happy and improving your own lives? Energy is finite and should be rationed wisely. Homophobia is just another excuse for not looking in the mirror, versus micromanaging other peoples’ lives. You will never feel that you matter by diminishing others, regardless of your hateful justifications biblical or otherwise. Eat peace, drink love, breath serenity. Lift others up and you too will rise.

 It’s really overrated, you can’t please everyone. So I have stopped worrying about what everyone thinks, wants or expects from me. No matter how much I try, I will never be able to please everyone, even if I really want to, and even if I think I can. This time I have these thoughts that even superheroes can’t please everyone. So instead of focusing on what people want you to do, focus on what you want to do and you will find yourself having a lot more peace of mind. I’m beautiful in my way coz God makes no mistake; I’m on the right track baby. I was born this way! Yes I am lesbian. DEAL with it. If someone can’t accept me or my life, well, I’m better off without you … Meet me half way…

-dyoyzee-